Spotted Dick Surrenders Olympics To English Cuisine

French President in Singapore to Strengthen Paris’ Olympic ...
All Headline News - Jul 5, 2005
SINGAPORE (AHN) – French President, Jacques Chirac, has arrived in Singapore on Tuesday, to strengthen the chances for Paris to host the 2012 Olympic Games. ...

In theory, anyway. In reality, he totally blew it. And it couldn't happen to a nicer country.

Now before this devolves into the stereotypical French-bashing. let me say that I have known some wonderful people from France. The language, even if a bit garish, is far more beautiful than, say, English. After you get used to the lack of normal accentuation. And though I've never been, I hear the sights are wonderful, the wines without comparison (though I prefer Italian wines), and of course how do you dislike the people who gave us the croissant?

SImple. Like their exalted despot, they have absolutely no diplomacy, no concept of what it is to be agreeable, no understanding of when a joke is a joke, and when it's bald, naked antipathy.

So Paris, fresh from two or three hopeful Olympic turn-downs...sees it's Spotted Dick, President Jacques Chirac, exalted poobah and leader of leaders, march into Singapore with the hopes and dreams of the City of Lights on his shoulders. And he acts like Fuzzy Zoeller at a Tiger Woods dinner.

Chirac was reported to have commented: "We can't trust people who have such bad food. After Finland, it's the country with the worst food".

So Paris will not host the 30th Olympiad. And given that the crumudgeonly fool who SURRENDERED them did so with the skill and artistry we come to expect from men of power, I will watch as much of them as I can.

But I wonder if that was part of the idea. And herein lies my moment of conspiracy for the day.

Great power is wielded in the IOC by NBC, the network that gave up the NFL and the NBA and sank all their hopes and dreams into the Olympics so many years ago. The Olympics and NBC are not only in bed together, they are doing things that would cost extra with even the most experimental prostitute.

Did Dick Ebersol, Lord of Olympia, go to the IOC and say: Look...you want me to sell this event in '12 to an American audience? There's no way I can make Paris look good to them. Americans hate France. (far more than most of the French likely dislike America, truth be told).

We'll never know.

But come the 2012 Games, I'll be drinking a Bass Ale, cheering on the USA.

I might even eat some bangers & mash while I do it...